Nobody Wants That.

I’ve had the thought since I was a little kid that I just wasn’t meant for the workday world.  I wouldn’t characterize myself as someone who dislikes or actively rebels against authority, because it’s not that I’m against those that enforce the rules, I’m really just opposed to the rules themselves.

When people asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”  I had all the typical answers: lawyer, ballerina, paleontologist, veterinarian, teacher, politician, dinosaur.

Clever girl.

But what I learned about all of these professions (aside from being a dinosaur because, come on) is that you are always answering to, or always playing by, or always at the mercy of people or rules or groups or ideas that do not have your best interest as their own.  Their best interest is their best interest.  Your best interest is yours.  Their best interest is you actively ignoring your own and paying attention to theirs.

Mind = Blown

And here’s the thing that frustrated me – who wants to go to an office, waste all their precious daylight, make money for somebody else, get stressed over things that mean very little to you as a person, go home frustrated about things you shouldn’t be frustrated about, ruin what little time you have to enjoy the things you care about, beat yourself up for getting frustrated and ruining your free time, go to sleep and dream about work, and then wake up angry, rinse and repeat?

Nobody.  Nobody wants that.

So when it came time to really think about what I wanted to do, I had it in my brain that I didn’t want to be a wage slave, I didn’t want to learn a functional and steady-paying trade.

The hard hat keeps your tears inside.

So I said that I wanted to do comedy.  I wanted to write.  I wanted to perform.  I wanted to make people laugh.  I wanted to give people an excuse to go out, have fun, and enjoy the little time they have to themselves.  And so I’m working on that.

Do I have a regular job until I make money doing that?  Yep.  But I’m lucky in that I don’t mind the work and it gives me the ability to have the time to pursue those other things.

Jobs, at their most basic definition, are a means to an end.  They’re a way to finance the things that matter.  Because it’s those things, not your job, that ultimately matter.  Laughing, having friends, doing fun things, or doing nothing at all – that shit matters.

With comedy I’m at the whim of the audience.  I’ve told one joke to two different crowds and gotten big reaction from one and no reaction from another.  Same joke.  Two different results.  But my failure is mine.  My success is equally mine.  The fruits of my labor are mine to make delicious pies with.

Mmmm, the taste of trial and error.

But it’s all mine.

And I can’t wait to make money at it.

And I can’t wait to share that with you.

Not the pie, my success.  I don’t share pie.


  1. i have firmly believed since i was about 14 that i could never function in a “real world job” – and surely enough, all my summer jobs in finance have proven me right! therefore i’ve had to delve deep into my soul to look for what could possibly make the early mornings/long hours/time and energy spent worthwhile, and hopefully i can one day report that the publishing industry offers that! the dream is that the job will become more than just that – part of my life and one of the things i wake up excited about. i think if you can find that, it becomes that little more than a means to an end.

    best of luck with the comedy! your writing is perfectly witty, and has me stifling some giggles while pretending i give a ratsass about fund management.

    • there’s that old saying that if you do something you love you’ll never work a day in your life. that’s the dream, as far as i see. good luck on finding it!

  2. perfect! I’ve always wanted to put that into words but was just too lazy to do that :P ahhahaa

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